Sunday, December 07, 2008

Dear diary
feeling disgusted by the information i get
i was told that his hands had always been on someone's waist
i mean, i can accept it sometimes, maybe back then
when i noe that his heart is with me
but now, thinking abt it, it seems like a betrayal
i mean i dun do it to my frens
my fren told me that he's not exactly an angel in clubs
i mean,i used to believe that he's been a good boy
what actually hppd?
doesnt he believe in faith and monogamy anymore?
does it mean that he want to have an open r/s all along?
or isit that he has a flirty mind and he cannot keep his **** to one person
he needs to share with many others out there?
but really..
i had a hard time trying to sleep last night
perhaps cos i noe i'm controlling myself not to contact him
and also partly cos i was thinking that he must be enjoying himself with some new guys
i am not even considering that it'll be a single guy
i'm considering GUYS..
i really hope that he keeps his hands to himself
i mean, why spoil ur reputation in the circle?
in this circle, reputation is really impt
i was still wishfully thinking that i'll spend a bomb on his Xmas prezie
i was actually looking at a Globe chair that will cost like 1K
but now, i think i shld forget abt it
i realise something
ever since he started working
he has neva wanted to care for me
he only dismissed me with some meals and that's abt it
i was looking at some forums
he bidded 100bucks for a braun buffel shoe bag
WTF?!
why do u even need that?
materialistic needs?
i hope i will get over him soon
it may hurt alot now
i noe i am in damn alot of pain
but i also hope that i'll become stronger
i need to up my market value
i need to tone myself
jogging and exercising
no more excuses
who cares if i'm ending work later.. i shld still do my exercising
Tan! yes that's another thing
i'll aim for that..
make myself look better
make him regret all that he has done to me
ultimately i noe that i have damn alot of feelings for him
but thinking abt all the cheated feelings, it just irks me to the max

 D.A.  flew at 10:43 PM